"The Rantin' Rovin' Piper"
18 April 2009

Ken ye a Rantin Rovin piper?
A skirl n blawin tourin Viper,
Wi his handsome looks an his way wi women,
Fae young ladies tae auld dears,
Have meant he hasny slept alone fur 20 somethin years.

I’ll tell ye a tale o piper Ant Carson.
A blusterin ,bowerin ,boorin ,bellum,
Ma wife she thinks him a dirty skellum!

For ye see ourAnt must chase the dame,
Ony size or shape, or ony frame.
A durty toerag he has been ca’aed,
By mony a female at the mod

With any female wearin skirt,
You’ll   find our piper tryin tae flirt.
Never leave your wife wi sic a man,
Fur she’ll be giggling like a lassie,
At endless streams o wit and patter.
You should be worried as he’s slept wi fatter.

Auld Ant that neer a man surpasses,
Fur skirlin tunes an chasin lasses.
Wi rovin eyes an dancin fingers.
He’s even been known tae chat up “Gingers”

By noo,he shud hae fathert fifty bairns ,
But heis got his art perfected,
O knowin when its time t jump,
Afore  the genes injected.

Invernesian fathers can noo relax
Fur heis moved doon tae the  border.
As  mony a thing he did up here  
Was downright out o’ order.

Anthony's faithers got a lot tae answer fur
Alas, his tourin days r dun.
But you lassies canny yet relax
For noo we’ve got his son.

Age ane  day  will  catch him up
And Ant will lose his looks.
Nae mair will his worries  be  his hair
Or a shavin rash wi  plooks.
For his wee pink friend  will limply lye
Whilst gorgeous wimmen wander  by.

An when heis auld an in a hame,
An canny remember his ain last name.
He’ll be droppin he’s spoon upon the flair,
Just so the nurse will bend right ae’er.

And ance  heis gone, upon his stane, his life
We’il write,
“Wha wid ever hae a wife?”
 No him ,
Aye ye’r right!

By Matthew John Donnachie,
about his friend and piper, Anthony Carson.

 

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